LOOP SCOOP ARTICLE: The Jim Shorts Interview

In 1992, Loop Scoop Magazine asked me to appear on the Kevin Matthews Show (then on AM 1000--10:30-3PM) and interview sportscaster Jim Shorts. It was one of the strangest experiences of my life. The following is a partial transcript of that interview.


"JIM SHORTS"
By Rick Kaempfer


Jim Shorts is one of a kind: brash, violent, lady killer. But what is he really like? LOOP SCOOP decided the only way to find out was to subject him to the type of tough, uncompromising interview he himself has made famous. We sent out our reporter, Rick Kaempfer, to find out if the "real" Jim Shorts differs from his bigger-than-life persona heard every day on the Kevin Matthews Show.

RK: We've gotten to know your parents over the years. They seem to be loving and giving. Tell us something they did to you, that has screwed you up for life.

JS: They let my brother Glenn throw gasoline on me, and Glenn held up a match to me, but it didn't burst. And they made me go on a weekend trip with my Uncle.

RK: Which Uncle?

JS: I can't say. He's still in prison.

RK: Jim, just out of curiosity, I've noticed your father keeps calling you Richard. Is that your real name?

JS: I can't say. No comment.

RK: Fine. Everybody in radio seems to have a story about a boss somewhere that made them change their name. Are there any bad radio names you rejected?

JS: Yeah, Jack Silver and Shemp.

RK: What do you think of Kevin?

RK: What about your Wang. A recent poll of our listeners showed that only 10% actually believe you two are "just good friends". When are you going to get off your high horse, admit it, and marry the girl?

JS: It is very hard to bridle a stallion.

RK: Well, if Wang isn't the one, what kind of girl are you looking for?

JS: Hair. She has to have hair.

RK: Speaking of hair...Jim, you are as bald as a cueball, but yet you are self-assured, almost cocky. I'm sure your bald fans would love to know the secret.

JS: I call Tom Thayer. He's like my support group.

RK: Jim, what don't you sing anymore?

JS: I do. I'm actually putting a band together. It will be called Jim Shorts and the Melody Makers. And if you're a senior citizen in a rest home, write us and we'll come out and play for you.

RK: Play now.

JS: I'm not a monkey.

RK: Yes, but your child is. Every proud papa has a cute story about their little ones. Tell us about Luger.

JS: I almost cried the first time we clapped our hands together and he did a little backflip.

RK: Having a kid makes us all get a little philosophical. Let me ask you this, and I'll let you go. If a genie suddenly appeared on your doorstep and granted you a wish, anything at all, what would you wish for?

JS: Anything?

RK: Anything.

JS: Anything in the entire world?

RK: Yup..

JS: A new hip for Red Kerr.

September 11

September 11, 2001, a day that I'm sure everyone reading this remembers vividly.

My experience on that day was a little odd. It involved Eddie Munster.



The following short excerpt about my experiences on that day is taken from "The Radio Producer's Handbook," which is still available here...The Radio Producer's Handbook

The John Landecker show had a “Mystery Guest” segment scheduled during the 8am hour (central time) on September 11, 2001. Rick Kaempfer was speaking with Butch Patrick (Eddie Munster) on the phone, prepping him for the mystery guest segment, when he was alerted about the first tower being hit. He politely said goodbye to Butch Patrick, turned on the television in the studio, and the show became a full-service news program. The newscaster Richard Cantu told all of the details that had been confirmed. As the show members tried to make sense of what was happening, the second tower was hit. Landecker and his co-host Leslie Keiling saw it happening and described it to the listeners. The listeners that normally would have turned on the news/talk station stayed with the program. Even today Landecker is stopped by people who were listening to the show that day. They thank him for handling the situation so professionally and feel a personal connection to him because of the real emotion he and the rest of the show members displayed on the air.

This is the crew we had working on the show that day...(from left, Rick Kaempfer, John Landecker, Leslie Keiling, Richard Cantu, and Vince Argento).