Garry Meier/Cliff Mansavage interview

I was one of the main writers of Loop Scoop Magazine, and one of our regular bits was "interviewing" the characters of the Loop personalities. One of Garry's most famous characters was "Cliff Mansavage." He was based on the old WGN-TV booth announcer who had a lisp (may he rest in peace).

Over the years, this character Cliff became a staple of the show. He actually began every Steve & Garry show, as Garry and whoever was running the control board that day (in my years with the show, it was me) waited for Steve to arrive. Garry didn't usually speak until Steve arrived, and Steve usually showed up about fifteen minutes after the show began.

I interviewed Cliff for Loop Scoop Magazine in the summer of 1993, just weeks before Garry's wedding, and as it turns out, weeks before the break up of Steve and Garry. At the time, they were doing the morning show on the Loop.

It's just a silly little piece--but you may enjoy seeing it again.



LOOP SCOOP MAGAZINE

Summer 1993 issue


"The Cliff Interview"

Cliff Mansavage was born in a little town named Mother's Womb, Missouri. His family moved north, and he spent most of his formative years in Montana, attending high school at Big Brawny Bob High School for the Unusually Inquisitive.

After he graduated at the top of his class, he headed for sunny California, where he attended Prime Time University. He later completed his studies at Boys Town, receiving a masters degree from their film school.

Cliff went on to a long successful broadcasting career in Chicago as a TV booth announcer before retiring to his ranch. He now works as the radio booth announcer for Steve and Garry.

We sent out our reporter, Rick Kaempfer, to find out more about the man we know only as Cliff Mansavage.

Rick: How long have you been with Steve & Garry?

Cliff: 6 foot 2, but I've been longer some mornings.

Rick: Cliff, you have a unique perspective of the guys. Tell us something we don't know about them. What are they really like?

Cliff: They paste Princess Di's and Fergie's heads on naked animal bodies during commercial breaks.

Rick: Steve & Garry's cast of characters has constantly changed over the years. With all the different newscasters, sportscasters, producers, and contributors that have come and gone, how is it that you are still aboard? What's the secret to your longevity?

Cliff: I eat healthy, and let's face it, I'm pretty darn good in the broadcasting saddle.

Rick: Mark Twain once said, "The most priceless gift of all is waking up one more day." Now that you are entrusted with being the first thing people hear when they wake up, do you feel an extra responsibility?

Cliff: Oh sure. I think it's better to hear about school lunches from me than on the street, and who else gives the temperature at Peotone International?

Rick: Your co-workers speak very highly of you. In their words, you are "cheerful, friendly and gay."

Cliff: I've heard a lot of people at the Loop described that way. As long as they "Hey, Cliff gives almost 100% every day," I'll be happy.

Rick: Let's talk about your first love; helping young boys. You are the founder of Cliff's Broadcasting School & Film Ranch for Wayward Boys. Tell us a little about how that came to be.

Cliff: I picked up the land for a song because most of it was swampland, very much like how Walt Disney started Disneyworld, except he had more money and didn't have to live in a drafty log cabin.

Rick: Garry Meier finally decided to get hitched recently. You are a man in his 60s, yet you're still single. Is there a reason for that? Any chance of a double wedding with Garry?

Cliff: I was married back in the 50s, when gas was twenty cents a gallon and they pumped it for you. I lost my toupee in that divorce. My best to Garry and Cindy.




Cliff actually showed up as part of that one day Steve & Garry reunion a few years ago. If you want to see him in action, you can see it here: VIDEO: The Steve & Garry Reunion Show

LOOP SCOOP ARTICLE: The Jim Shorts Interview

In 1992, Loop Scoop Magazine asked me to appear on the Kevin Matthews Show (then on AM 1000--10:30-3PM) and interview sportscaster Jim Shorts. It was one of the strangest experiences of my life. The following is a partial transcript of that interview.


"JIM SHORTS"
By Rick Kaempfer


Jim Shorts is one of a kind: brash, violent, lady killer. But what is he really like? LOOP SCOOP decided the only way to find out was to subject him to the type of tough, uncompromising interview he himself has made famous. We sent out our reporter, Rick Kaempfer, to find out if the "real" Jim Shorts differs from his bigger-than-life persona heard every day on the Kevin Matthews Show.

RK: We've gotten to know your parents over the years. They seem to be loving and giving. Tell us something they did to you, that has screwed you up for life.

JS: They let my brother Glenn throw gasoline on me, and Glenn held up a match to me, but it didn't burst. And they made me go on a weekend trip with my Uncle.

RK: Which Uncle?

JS: I can't say. He's still in prison.

RK: Jim, just out of curiosity, I've noticed your father keeps calling you Richard. Is that your real name?

JS: I can't say. No comment.

RK: Fine. Everybody in radio seems to have a story about a boss somewhere that made them change their name. Are there any bad radio names you rejected?

JS: Yeah, Jack Silver and Shemp.

RK: What do you think of Kevin?

RK: What about your Wang. A recent poll of our listeners showed that only 10% actually believe you two are "just good friends". When are you going to get off your high horse, admit it, and marry the girl?

JS: It is very hard to bridle a stallion.

RK: Well, if Wang isn't the one, what kind of girl are you looking for?

JS: Hair. She has to have hair.

RK: Speaking of hair...Jim, you are as bald as a cueball, but yet you are self-assured, almost cocky. I'm sure your bald fans would love to know the secret.

JS: I call Tom Thayer. He's like my support group.

RK: Jim, what don't you sing anymore?

JS: I do. I'm actually putting a band together. It will be called Jim Shorts and the Melody Makers. And if you're a senior citizen in a rest home, write us and we'll come out and play for you.

RK: Play now.

JS: I'm not a monkey.

RK: Yes, but your child is. Every proud papa has a cute story about their little ones. Tell us about Luger.

JS: I almost cried the first time we clapped our hands together and he did a little backflip.

RK: Having a kid makes us all get a little philosophical. Let me ask you this, and I'll let you go. If a genie suddenly appeared on your doorstep and granted you a wish, anything at all, what would you wish for?

JS: Anything?

RK: Anything.

JS: Anything in the entire world?

RK: Yup..

JS: A new hip for Red Kerr.