John Landecker Notebook

The John Landecker Show: Rick Kaempfer, John Landecker, Leslie Keiling, Richard Cantu, and Vince Argento







I was the executive producer of the John Landecker show's entire reign at WJMK (1993-2003). I've previously written about the show many times, but I've never singled out some of my favorite memories. This was incredibly difficult to do, but I think I have cut it down to five.



5. Live broadcasts from listener's homes
It's hard to even imagine this now, but for an entire year we did the show from a different listener's home every Wednesday. I don't think it's a coincidence that this was also our best year in the ratings. It started off slow, with John getting to meet the listeners and rifle through their personal belongings on the air, but it soon became larger than life. We met the neighborhood celebrities everywhere we went, and the local politicians suddenly started showing up every week. High school marching bands came to play for us. Soon listeners were competing to win a brand new Ford Thunderbird. My favorite moment, however, happened when John discovered it was girl-scout cookie selling season. He asked to borrow the brownie outfit of one brownie mom, and started selling cookies door to door. (Photo on left: Promotions asst. Joleen, John, Engineer Mark, Promotions asst. Edith, and me.) This brownie outfit became a running bit that culminated in a live broadcast from Union Station. Carl Giamerese of the Buckinghams came with his guitar and performed a Buckinghams song that John and I had rewritten specifically for the occasion. It was released on our third CD, Baby Boomers. Click here to hear Carl's live performance at Union Station. ("Girl Scouts") Sadly, the live broadcasts from listener homes ended abruptly with the downsizing of the station engineering department. With only one engineer remaining on staff, it was decided that broadcasting from listener's homes was no longer feasible.


4. Our annual Christmas broadcast for charity
For several years we did a live Christmas broadcast from Oak Lawn to raise money, toys, and food for the holidays. We raffled off the hottest toys of that particular season, invited celebrities to join us there (Darlene Love came one year, Channel 2 sportscaster Tim Weigel came another), filled the largest ballroom in the largest hotel with listeners, and generally took over Oak Lawn. It got bigger and bigger every year, and we felt great being able to collect toys and money for children, and food for the local food pantries. We'd like to think we helped spread some Christmas cheer. The photo above is from our first Christmas broadcast. That baby John is wearing in a snuggly is my oldest son, Tommy Kaempfer. (Tommy later became a part of the show. Click here to hear the 2-year-old Tommy's contribution to our fourth CD--"Live Long & Perspire": "Little Tommy Kaempfer Sings".) After a few years of these Christmas shows, station management requested that we discontinue the broadcasts because they felt it took away from Dick Biondi's annual toy drive. (Dick did a 24-hour-radiothon in early December every year.) We never did another Christmas show for WJMK, but I still have warm and fuzzy memories of the four shows we did.


3. Lambs Farm
When John and I first came aboard at WJMK we wondered why they never staged free concerts for their listeners. That was a staple of most Oldies stations in America, and most of the acts we played on the air still regularly performed on the summer concert circuit. After our first year on the air, the station decided to take a risk. At our first show at Lambs Farm in Libertyville, we hired the Flying Elvis' from the movie "Honeymoon in Vegas" to perform. The sight of these parachuting Elvis impersonators landing near the stage to perform was a crowd pleaser, and the crowd of more than 30,000 that showed up for the show encouraged Lambs Farm and the radio station to continue the tradition. (The picture was taken at one of the Lambs Farm concerts.) At subsequent shows we got performers like Tommy James, Chubby Checker, and just about every other Oldies act you can name. Hundreds of thousands of listeners showed up--making this annual concert every year a huge fundraiser for Lambs Farm (they got 100% of all concessions). It was also a huge deal for our show, because the opening band every year was Landecker & The Legends. We got a rousing ovation when we first performed a song that has since made me a hero to my three sons. (The station banned us from playing it on the air because it was too naughty, but allowed us to play it live.) John and I wrote the words for this classic: King of *arts


2. Touring with Landecker & The Legends
Landecker & the Legends performed together for seven summers, and we probably played at every summer festival in the Chicago area. One summer we did over twenty gigs (basically two shows every single weekend).
It eventually became a little too much for all of us (remember, we still were doing a morning show every day), but the memories I have of those shows and the great people we met will never leave me. Plus, the band was so much fun to hang out with--Tim, Mark, Steve J., Steve V, Jay, Pete, Dan, Jeff, our associate producer Tom, and the horn players were a riot. One summer we even brought along an accordian player (who was a school principal in Naperville, I believe.) The downside to having an accordian player was that I had to dress up in my German lederhosen, and lead the crowd in the Chicken Dance. I'll never forget the sight of 50,000 people flapping their arms at Lambs Farm that year. The upside to having an accordian player was that it allowed us to play the song we wrote in honor of the Disney movie Pocahantas: The Polkahantas Polka


1. Live Broadcasts from tropical resorts
I've already written about the incredible trip we had to the Dominican Republic (Renewing my vows), but I had just as much fun at our final live tropical broadcast in January of 2003. Bridget had just given birth to Sean, and she couldn't travel yet--so I took my seven year old son Tommy with me instead. Just the two of us--for a whole week in Huatulco, Mexico. Every morning at 4:30 in the morning he got up with me and came down to the broadcast site, and every morning I set up his laptop next to mine so that he could play his video games. He also told a joke on the show every morning. After the shows were over, we would explore the beaches looking for iguanas, and play in the ocean. It's a week that neither Tommy nor I will ever forget.



Where are they now?
In August of 2003 WJMK decided not to renew our contract, and we all went our seperate ways. John is back on the air at WLS Radio in Chicago. Leslie Keiling is the traffic reporter every afternoon on WGN Radio (720AM). Richard Cantu is a network news anchor for ABC Radio in New York. Vince Argento is the production director of the Jonathon Brandmeier Show on the Loop (97.9FM) in Chicago, and I'm now fulfilling a life-long dream by becoming a novelist. It's worked out for all of us, but we all remember those days at WJMK fondly.

The Jay Leno Controversy

What were you doing June of 1994?

You were probably talking about O.J. Simpson.

The infamous White Bronco highway chase occured then, and for better or worse, the country talked about virtually nothing else for the next two years.

We were no different at the John Landecker show. In fact, the way we handled the OJ trial was probably responsible for our rise to the top 5 in the ratings. We had no fewer than five parody songs about the subject, and it became a big part of the Landecker and the Legends stage show. John would perform these songs flanked by two "dancers" (Vince Argento and Me--that's us in the picture) dressed like Judge Lance Ito.

When Jay Leno did the Tonight Show in Chicago for a week, we sent his show a tape of our first OJ song (a parody of YMCA--called "YDNA"), along with a description of our Dancing Itos. We thought he might find it funny and use it on the air. Well, imagine our surprise when his version of the Dancing Itos emerged--dancing to a parody of YMCA. Their song was called "OJLA".

John and I tried to convince ourselves that it was a coincidence. After all, they didn't mention us or the show--so they must have come up with it themselves, right? Our listeners, however, wouldn't hear of it. They flooded our phone lines the next morning, outraged at the theft.

That led John to write the following letter to Jay Leno.

April 11, 1995

Jay Leno
NBC-TV

Dear Jay,

Early last week, I overnighted a package to you that contained a parody of The Village People’s “YMCA” called “Why DNA?” I’ve been playing this parody for a while now, and it is by far the most asked for song on our station. I also enclosed a lyric sheet and a letter.

In the letter, I explained that I had been using the Dancing Ito’s on stage since January. Although I didn’t ask for it, I fantasized that you would mention my program, play the song, the nation would love it, my ratings would go up and my contract would be renewed!!

Cut to last Thursday night. I’m watching NBC prime time, and Bingo! a Tonight Show promo hits the air. It’s some sort of Ito/Village People/O.J.L.A. thing! I can’t believe it!!

I got on the air Friday morning at 5:30 am. The first call comes in... “John, did you see Jay Leno last night?” For the next 4½ hours, it was pretty much non-stop on the fax machine and the telephone. Did the Tonight Show take our idea? Why didn’t Jay mention you? and on and on.

I said on the air, in my opinion, you didn’t even see the package that I sent. Some writer grabbed it and used it, or maybe it was just a coincidence.

At any rate, I’m still a desperate radio personality pleading for plugs. Can I get a) a mention, b) an appearance, c) an interview d) all of the above, or should I just go f**k myself?

Say, did I ever tell you I really like motorcycles?

Love and kisses, your pen pal,

John Records Landecker
Oldies 104.3 WJMK

P.S. You can reach me or my producer, Rick Kaempfer, until 1pm Chicago time at (312) 977-1800, or after 1pm, my home number is (312) 944-9674.

(Those numbers aren't good anymore--don't bother calling them.)


Well, a strange thing happened after they received our letter. I was taking a nap at home after the show one day, and Bridget came in to wake me up.

"Jay Leno's on the phone," she said.

"Shut up."

"No seriously," she said--holding the phone up. "He's on the phone right now."

It was him. The station had given him my home phone number. In the call he told me how they had been flooded with complaints and he swore that he hadn't even opened our package--that they have a policy against it.

I told him that I believed him, but our listeners didn't. Would he agree to come on the show to talk to John and answer all of our questions? To his credit, he agreed.

The next morning we had a ten minute interview with Jay. He said that he would never steal an idea--especially from someone who could publicly bust him for it. He said it was just a coincidence--that this sort of thing happens all the time. People looking at the same stories come up with the same jokes. He would much rather pay someone a few hundred or thousand bucks for a great idea, than deal with the hassle.

I thought he was pretty convincing. Our listeners didn't. Our families and friends didn't. Eleven years later...I'm still not sure.

Many give the Dancing Itos and the way Leno handled the OJ trial credit for his surge past David Letterman in the ratings. Letterman has never come close to beating him since. The John Landecker show also rode a wave of popularity for several years. We had a good run.

To tell you the truth, it doesn't even matter to me anymore if he stole it or not.

It's a fun story to tell.

With a little help from depends

There was quite a bit of publicity when Paul McCartney celebrated his 64th birthday a few years ago. He wrote the song "When I'm 64" for the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper album in 1967, and for some reason, none of us ever thought that day would come.

Even though he was looking very young well into his fifties, however, Paul is finally starting to look his age a little bit. He appeared on the cover of a recent AARP Magazine (don't ask how I know), and whoa...


Of course, that wasn't really the first scary Beatles age marker. That probably occured in 2000, when Ringo Starr turned 60 years old. It certainly freaked us out at the John Records Landecker show. It inspired the following song to the tune of "With a Little Help from My Friends". I don't believe we ever performed it live, but it did appear on the 5th Landecker & The Legends CD.

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM DEPENDS
(Landecker/Kaempfer)








What would you think if I told you how old,
Ringo is turning this year,
He's 60 years old and before you get worried,
I'll try to allay all your fears,
Ringo stays dry with a little help from Depends,
Yes he keeps dry with a little help from Depends,
His Beatle bum is still dry with Depends

For many years now ol' Ringo's been gray,
(Grecian Formula's well stocked at home)
The hair that he has is in a ponytail,
(And it's swirled to cover up his chrome dome)
But he stays dry with a little help from Depends,
He's a dry guy with a little help from Depends,
His Beatle bum is still dry with Depends.

(He don't need any money)
He's got money to burn
(He just wants his old body)
His digestive system is a concern

(How many times does he wake every night?)
I'm afraid it happens all the time
(I heard that he stays in his bed through the night)
His Depends are the no-leaking kind

So he stays dry with a little help from Depends,
He's a dry guy with a little help from Depends,
His Beatle bum is still dry with Depends

(Parents of) Friends

During the years "Friends" was on the air, the stars of that show rarely made it into Chicago. Jennifer Aniston did film a few movies here, and David Schwimmer directed several plays here with his theatre company ("Looking Glass"), but most of the other stars rarely made it into town.

"Friends" was one of those television shows that nearly every age group watched--even the WJMK Oldies audience. And while our listeners watched it, they watched it through slightly different eyes. They saw those kids living in luxurious Manhattan lofts and thought: "How in the world can they afford those places? They must cost $10000 a month."

John Landecker, who had two grown-up daughters about the age of the Friends cast, suggested that their parents must be shelling out the cash. That comment inspired me to rewrite the lyrics to the "Friends" theme song by the Rembrandts. Although I didn't have any kids yet, I thought of John's situation with his daughters, and my little brother who brought his laundry home to mom until he got married, and had some fun with the concept.

The result was the following tune. It was a regular part of the Landecker & The Legends stage show for most of the seven years we toured.

(“Parents of”) “Friends”
By Landecker/Kaempfer

The last time you called home was a month ago today,
You just discovered what they meant by take home pay,
We know it’s hard to start a new career,
When your refrigerator’s, only filled, with pizza and beer,

But-I’ll still pay for you
You know it doesn’t matter when,
I’ll still pay for you,
When your car breaks down again,
I’ll still pay for you,
Now can you lose that new tattoo?

You keep saying that my way of life was wrong,
But you’re getting pretty stoned up in your room tokin’ on the bong,
You’ve completely cleaned the basement out of furniture,
And were still not sure, if your new roommate, is a, him or a her,

But-I’ll still pay for you
I’ll always be your daddy,
I’ll still pay for you,
I cough up money gladly,
I’ll still pay for you,
Now can you lose that new tattoo?

Why don’t you come and visit,
That isn’t too hard is it?
You know your Mother’s lasagna,
is simply exquisite,
Despite your self-assurance,
I still pay your car insurance,
Now you know that life ain’t free,
I’m still here to do your laundry,
Your dirty, stinkin’ laundry, baby.

Now I seem to have had more than my fill,
Of paying telephone and doctor’s medical bills,

But-I’ll still pay for you
You know it doesn’t matter when,
I’ll still pay for you,
When your car breaks down again,
I’ll still pay for you,
Now can you lose that new tattoo?

Bobbitt Flashback

PG WARNING: The content of this post could be offensive to the easily offended...If you are easily offended, please don't read it.



If you weren't living in a cave in 1993 and 1994, you remember the story of John Wayne Bobbitt well. His wife severed his manhood, and she threw it in a field somewhere.

The police found it, and it was reattached.

I was the producer of John Landecker's show when this story broke, and because of the popular song John and I wrote about it, the publisher of Chicago Advertising and Media magazine (a magazine I wrote for before joining the radio show) asked me to write a story about the Bobbitt material being done in Chicago.

The following is my published report from 1994.

A “Slice” of Modern Radio Life

It was a case that swept the nation. Just say the word “Bobbitt” and you are bound to get an immediate reaction. Everybody has an opinion about the case, and everybody was talking about it.

Every respectable television news anchor on every network and local station had to say the word “penis” on the air every night for virtually six months. Every comedian in the country has a “Bobbitt-hunk”. I followed the late night TV talk shows for six weeks, and David Letterman and Jay Leno did Bobbitt jokes nearly every night. Leno skipped the topic seven times in six weeks. Letterman skipped it four times.

The Bobbitts may have also single-handedly changed the face of radio. Subjects that no one dared discuss in the pre-Bobbitt days, were commonplace in the “Bobbitt-era” on virtually every morning radio show in Chicago. I decided to call them up and get their best “Bobbitt-material”. Nine morning shows responded to my call.

WBBM-FM (B-96) Eddie & JoBo
One liners were a regular part of the Eddie and JoBo program. They offered up their favorite Bobbitt-joke to me: “What’s the difference between Bob Barker and Lorena Bobbitt? Barker is a slick pricer.....”

WJMK-FM (Oldies 104.3) John Landecker
(FULL DISCLOSURE: I am the producer of this show)
Landecker also offered up a slew of one-liners. “Did you hear that John Bobbitt is legally changing his name....to Les Johnson?” “Now that the Bobbitts are legally divorced, John is once again unattached”. Landecker’s “Bobbitt Song” was also the #1 request item at the station. To the tune of “If you wanna be happy” by Jimmy Soul, the chorus of his song goes like this: “If you wanna make Lorena Bobbitt your wife, you better hide the butcher knife. John Wayne Bobbitt found out that’s true, when she woke him cutting off his wazoo.” He also incorporated a series of “Bobbitt-party games” into his live stage show; “Bobbitt-ing for Wieners”, “The Bobbitt-Wiener Toss”, and “Pin the Bobbitt on the Bobbitt”.

WLS-AM/FM (Talk Radio) Don & Roma Wade
Don & Roma, for the most part, gave it the talk-radio treatment. They spoke daily to Court-TV reporter Christian Jennette Meyers. She gave them updates live from Manassas. Of course, they didn’t stay away from the comedy treatment of the issue. Don predicted “She’s gonna get off”, to which Roma replied “That’s more than he can do”.

WLUP-FM (The Loop) Kevin Matthews
Matthews gave the subject his conceptual comedic touch. He referred to Bobbitt’s reattached organ as “Frankenpenis”, implying that they had mistakenly attached the wrong penis. He created elaborate “Frankenstein-like” situations for Bobbitt.

WMVP-AM (Sports-1000) Steve Dahl
Naturally, it comes as no surprise that Dahl covered the Bobbitt experience. He played audio clips of virtually every news anchor and reporter saying the word “penis”. Dan Rather, John Drury, Connie Chung, Jay Levine, Lester Holt, Warner Saunders, Deborah Norville, Penny Daniels, Robin Robinson, and Bill Kurtis were all featured. He also composed an original “Bobbitt-song”. The funniest line of the song is “I just wanna be your hubby, so don’t call me stubby.”

WPNT-FM (FM 100) Steve Cochran
Cochran came to town just in time for the Lorena Bobbitt trial. One day, he asked listeners to come up with alternative words for “penis”. The newsman on his show would then use that word. He spent one day using the word “woodchuck”. He also had a news reporter calling in from the trial, Dora Hasen. She told the show about the various different T-shirts being hawked, and the “hot dog”specials at the local restaurants. The “Bobbitts” were also discussed in the pre-Cochran era. Before Cochran arrived, the FM-100 morning show spent an entire day composing Bobbitt limericks in honor of Mike Royko’s column.

WTMX-FM (101.9) Brant Miller
Miller and his program director Barry James both felt that the issue was a little too touchy to be handled in a comedic way. They intentionally stayed away from it.

WUSN-FM (US-99) JD & The Katman.
John “The Katman” Katzbeck put together a little parody song in honor of the Bobbitts. It was called “Lorena’s eyes” and was to the tune of “Alibis” by Tracy Lawrence. The chorus went like this: “Lorena’s eyes and alibis, Hide the steak knives. Lord knows she threw it out the windows to the birds, don’t worry she’s getting severence pay.” The song also includes little fake commercials for both Lorena and John. Lorena hawks the “Vegomatic”, and John does a spiel for American Express...”Don’t leave home without it”.

WXRT-FM (93.1) Lin Brehmer
Brehmer called me up to tell me he didn’t do any Bobbitt jokes. “Unless I make them up on the spot, I really don’t have any. I guess I didn’t have my finger on the pulse of the community.”

Don’t worry, Lin. If the public wanted Bobbitt jokes, they didn’t have a hard time finding them.

The song we wrote was a staple of our live shows for years. Here are the lyrics to the tune of "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life," an oldie by Jimmy Soul. The late Chicago Tribune Pulitzer Prize Columnist Mike Royko, who spent weeks publishing Bobbitt limericks, pulled me aside at a party at his friend Tim Weigel's house to tell me that he thought this was brilliant. Granted, he had a glass of gin in his hand at the time, but I'll always remember that moment.

"If you wanna make Lorena Bobbit your wife"




By John Landecker & Rick Kaempfer




If you wanna make Lorena Bobbit your wife,
Just make sure you hide the butcher knife,
John Wayne Bobbit found out that's true,
When she woke him cutting off his wazoo,

Lorena said John wasn't treating her well,
So he wound up in a prison cell,
When he got acquited Lorena scoffed,
"That's the last time that he gets off"

It's a story we all have heard,
The controversy that it has stirred,
The story of their marital strife,
That ended gruesomely with a knife,
She just sliced off his manhood,
And then she tossed it in the woods,
They say the grass there did go grow greener,
Fertilized by his sliced off wiener,

If you wanna make Lorena Bobbit your wife,
Just make sure you hide the butcher knife,
John Wayne Bobbit found out that's true,
When she woke him cutting off his wazoo,

(INST-BRIDGE)

We know how it will end of course,
The Bobbits will wind up divorced,
Their problems simply cannot be patched,
And John is once again unattached,

If you wanna make Lorena Bobbit your wife,
Just make sure you hide the butcher knife,
John Wayne Bobbit found out that's true,
When she woke him cutting off his wazzoo,

(INST & Talking)

Lorena said John wasn't treating her well,
So he wound up in a prison cell,
When he got acquited Lorena scoffed,
"That's the last time that he gets off",
If you wanna make Lorena Bobbit your wife,
You better limit your marital strife,
She really knows how to wield that blade,
Every night you'll go to sleep afraid,
If you wanna make Lorena Bobbit your wife,
You better hide your butcher knife,
John Wayne Bobbit found out that's true,
When she woke him cutting off his wazoo.
(fades)

This song is available on Landecker and the Legends, Volume 1.

He's the President

It was the golden age of Presidential comedy. The President of the United States from 1993--2000 was beloved by many, but trust me when I tell you that nobody loved him more than the nation's comedy writers.



David Letterman started featuring classic Clinton jokes a year or two into Bush's first term because he missed the comedy potential so much. Jay Leno would go weeks without doing jokes about anyone else. The Daily Show cut it's comedic teeth during these years.

In the 1990s, we could laugh as one country, united in the realization that we were living in the golden age of Presidential comedy. A blue dress. A cigar. A really unpleasant whistle blower. An uptight First Lady. A chubby intern. An independent prosecutor who leaked the most lurid details. A Congressman leading the impeachment who himself had a youthful indiscretion (at age 41). An impeached President with a 70% approval rating. A 6-foot tall female Attorney General who kick any one of our butts. "It depends on what your definition of is is."

I could go on and on. I'm tearing up a little now remembering how easy it was in those days...

The John Landecker Show certainly took part in the comedy free-for-all. We had not one, not two, not three, but four songs about the President: "Big Macarena," "Intern with the Blue Dress On," "The Chipmunks Impeachment Song," and "He's the President." The biggest hit was "He's the President," which appears on Landecker & the Legends, Volume 5. Picture if you will, a man with a President Clinton mask on, dancing on-stage with the Legends as John sang this song. It was a regular part of our stage show for three or four years.

"He's the President"
(Landecker/Kaempfer)
(To the tune of "The Wanderer" by Dion)

Well there was slick Willie, talking on TV,
Said he didn't perjure based on technicalities,
We all loved his TV song and dance,
What's the matter with you Clinton can't you keep it in your pants?

He's the President,
Yeah he's the President,
In charge of foreign and domestic affairs.

Before you get feathers and before you get your tar,
JFK did it, and so did FDR,
Harding had a love child, Bill never went that far,
He just treated the oval office like the back seat of a car.

He's the President,
Yeah he's the President,
In charge of foreign and domestic affairs.

Well the ladies all look so fine,
And Bill wandered all the time,
With women 18 to 69,
But when it came to Janet Reno that's where Clinton drew the line.

Though Starr may be hated and the same with Linda Tripp,
Bill wouldn't have these problems if he just kept it zipped,
Now the only thing that's stiff is Bill's upper lip,
Or Hillary will go Bobbitt, she won't hesitate to snip.

The President.
Yeah he's the President,
In charge of foreign and domestic affairs.

So the whole country watched, the President's speech,
And some of us forgave him, and some of us preached,
But there's only a few hundred that he really had to reach,
The members of Congress with the power to impeach,

The President
Yeah, the President.
In charge of foreign and domestic affairs.

Hats off to Harry

Milo Hamilton, the Houston Astros Play-by-Play man and former Cubs broadcaster, has written a book. In the book "Making Airwaves", he has taken quite a few shots at a Chicago icon--Harry Caray.


Among the things he wrote about Harry in his book:

*After Harry left the White Sox to take over the Cubs job, he talked to Milo. Harry told him "Well, kid, if I were you, I'd leave town."

*Milo didn't like the way he broadcasted. "He rode the managers, he rode the players, it didn't matter. He treated everyone the same way. In short, he was a miserable human being."

*When Milo was hospitalized for leukemia in 1982, Harry responded on the air that he "Couldn't understand how a guy can take time off during the season. Unlike some other broadcasters I know, I've never missed a game."


In my nearly twenty years in Chicago radio (and even before that), I ran into Harry Caray many times. Does Milo's version of Harry sound like the Harry I knew? Judge for yourself. Here are a few examples of my Harry encounters.



*In 1984, my radio station in Champaign (WPGU) was carrying the Cubs. I got to go to the affiliate reception at the Hyatt Regency in Chicago with the General Manager of our station (who happened to be my girlfriend at the time). We met Harry, had a few cocktails with him, and he nearly pushed me out of the booth to hit on my girlfriend.

*In 1989, I was producer of the Steve and Garry show. It was their tenth anniversary on the air together, and I called people from their past to relive the memories on the air. Since Harry was the play-by-play man for the White Sox during Steve & Garry's famous Disco Demolition stunt, I called him at his home (he lived in a hotel in my neighborhood). When I told him what show I was calling for, he went nuts on me, and called Steve and Garry every name in the book. Needless to say, he didn't come on. (In fairness to Harry, I called Jimmy Piersall next and he was even more belligerent. I hadn't even heard some of those words before. Whew.)

*In 1994, I was the producer of the John Landecker Show. It was the week before the strike and Harry was our guest. We told him the interview would be about two things; the strike and Harry's encounter about Elvis (a great story we had heard him tell to Bob Costas. Remember, this was an Oldies station.) When John brought up Elvis, Harry said he didn't want to tell the story. When John said he thought the strike was really going to happen, Harry basically called John stupid--saying that there "was no way in hell that will happen. There's too much money at stake." The interview lasted about two minutes.


Granted, I cherry-picked those stories from my many encounters. There were other times he was a great guy, an accomodating guy, and a fun guy. I was actually a huge fan, and I never took any of this stuff personally. For every bad encounter, there wa s a good one. In short, he was human.

So is Milo right? Probably. Is Milo wrong? Definitely.

I could tell that Harry never remembered my name when I saw him, but he did recognize my face. He called me "Kid," like I'm sure he called everyone else under 70. Heck, Milo said he called him "Kid," so maybe he didn't stop at 70. Despite his flaws, Harry was larger than life. Anyone who ever met him, remembers it well.

When he died, I was inspired to write the following song. Landecker & The Legends performed it that whole summer, and it appears on "Landecker & The Legends, Volume 5." It's to the tune of "Hats of to Larry" by Del Shannon. You may not know the tune, but you can still see my affection for him in the lyrics.

"Hats Off to Harry"
(Landecker/Kaempfer)






When I went to Wrigley Field,
And the seventh inning came,
You weren't in broadcast booth,
It will never be the same,

We miss you Harry, Holy Cow,
I'm here at the old ballpark,
Waiting for your last bow,
But it's God's Plan,
To take away the main Bud Man,
Harry I'm crying in my beer for you.

Though you mispronounced some names,
You are in the Hall of Fame,
Baseball will never be the same.

Hats Off to Harry,
We'll miss your glasses,
We'll miss you in the booth,
Checking out the lasses,
Cruel twist of fate,
Chip's broadcasting behind home plate,
Harry I'm crying in my beer for you.

Bye Harry Caray,
It's not the same,
No more Ryne Sanderson,
No backwards names,
You're the only one,
Who could make a lousy team such fun,
Harry I'm crying in my beer for you.
For You.
For You.
For You.

I also wrote the following article for "Upbeat Chicago" magazine in 1992. This is to show you I didn't just get sentimental about him after Harry died. I really was a fan.



There's Nothing Like Fun From The 'Ol Ballpark
by Rick Kaempfer

From Upbeat Chicago


It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. My wife rolled out of bed around noon, her usual weekend wake up time, and I was ready for her. The picnic basket was packed to the gills, the cooler was packed with a few frosty cold ones, and the blanket was folded nicely.

"Are we going on a picnic?" she asked.

I nodded in the affirmative, and off we went to Lincoln Park. She was still groggy and groaning.

It was time for a bribe. I handed her a book she had been longing to buy. The groan was replaced by a smile, which was then quickly replaced by a scowl when I pulled the radio out of the picnic basket.

"Are we really going to be listening to a baseball game?"

I comforted her. "No, we're going to listen to two baseball games."

I always thought that listening to sporting events on the radio was an underrated form of entertainment. If the announcers are good, the experience can be more exciting than watching the game on television or live at the ballpark. I decided to attempt to prove this to the most skeptical anti-sport fan around.

She comes from a family of White Sox fans, so I thought I would hook her more easily with that game. After all, the Sox are a better team. They're in first place, and the city is catching White Sox fever. Right? Wrong. Not this groggy little filly. John Rooney and Ed Farmer are a good team on WMAQ. They are efficient, polished broadcasters. Unfortunately, they don't really inspire the same kind of excitement as their television counterparts. In fact, after about two innings we suddenly had two groggy campers. I switched it over to WGN.

It was the third inning. Thom Brennaman and Ron Santo admittedly had a better game to work with, but instantly that excitement I was looking for was in the air.

Brennaman is one of Chicago's most underrated broadcasters. He's young, but he is also a first rate baseball announcer. He has a natural delivery, a self assured confident air about him, and most importantly, an engaging personality. His barbs at Santo come frequently, but they are done without the slightest trace of animosity. It sounds like two good friends just chatting about the ballgame, complete with just the right mixture of unabashed rooting and playful sarcasm.

The age difference doesn't seem to matter. Brennaman was still more worried about getting his box of 64 Crayola Crayons when Santo covered the hot corner for the Cubs in the 60's and early 70s. Still, he directs the flow of the broadcast. At the age of 29, he handles the pressures of the big time with ease and grace.

I found myself wishing he wasn't about to switch over to TV, but I knew it was time for the man that is now the Cubs/WGN franchise; Harry Caray. He works the middle innings on the radio. It has become fashionable to bash Harry over the last few seasons. I admit that I laugh at his mispronunciations and occasional gaffes.

I don't know why, but this season I also appreciate Harry more than I have for years. It seems he has regained his edge; his ire turns on the Cubs more easily, his cackle at his own expense is infectious, and his love of the simple things connects with the fan in all of us.

The Cubs hit a long ball. "It might be", his voice raised to meet the excitement of the game. "It could be", the cheer of the crowd reverberated. "It is!" And it was like I was there. Only better. The imagination paints a much more vivid picture than reality.

I lifted my frosty cold one to toast the man when he said "There's nothing like fun at the old ballpark."

I turned to my wife to clink cans with her. Surely Harry must have turned her around. Finally, after all these years I had created the perfect scenario for her to appreciate what I have loved since childhood. She had a big smile on her face. Her imagination was painting a Rembrandt.

Unfortunately, she was fast asleep.

"Use Your Glove"

The year was 1994. Witnesses near Elvis' grave at Graceland said they heard "spinning" noises the day Michael Jackson announced he had married Elvis' girl Lisa Marie.




During that time, John Landecker and I imagined what the King might have been saying as he spun round and round. The following lyrics accompany the tune “Burning Love,” and John performed this as Elvis (in full costume) for the first couple of Landecker & Legends tours.

(Warning: Content is rated PG)

“Use Your Glove”*
(Landecker/Kaempfer)

Lord almighty, Lisa Marie’s so surprisin’,
Just like Priscilla, she gave her old man the heave ho,
But girl, girl, girl, this new husband that you’ve acquired,
Is a llama owning, crotch grabbing, monkey loving, scary freak show,
So tonight when it’s time to retire,
And he’s wearing your dress he admired,
Say not tonight, Michael I’m tired.
Use your glove

Ooh ooh ooh, Michael is so mesmerizing,
He plays with the kids and pretends to be Frankenstein,
He comforts them when it’s raining and the sun ain’t shining,
That’s OK—as long as they ain’t no kin of mine,


So tonight when it’s time to retire,
Surround the kids with barb wire,
Put a damper on his desire,
Spurn his love.


Lisa Marie babe, listen here to your daddy,
Put the rights to my songs in a safe and throw the key away,
Daddy’s motto was ‘Takin’ Care of Bizness’
But I never did no business with a man that change his face every day.


So tonight when it’s time to retire,
And he’s wearing your dress he admired,
Say not tonight, Michael I’m tired.
Use your glove.

*This song also appeared on “Landecker & the Legends, Volume 1.” (One of the six CDs we released to benefit Lambs Farm in Libertyville). Check out the website of The Legends at www.thelegends.net